Wednesday, January 12, 2011

A Note on Love

The Setting: The Hovel, aka, the kitchen table, sipping Lemon Zinger.

The Soundtrack: Back to the Future. Potentially the entire trilogy.

On the Stove-top: Nothing yet, but I've got a pretty good feeling my future is back to chicken soup.

The Scenario: I've noticed there has been a little blow-back since a certain food-celeb with a super-sized smile and a knack for making Italian food "everyday" commented to a women's magazine that men desire to be treated like kings in relationships and that women should indulge them.

While I can't say I'm surprised at the rumblings and grumblings, considering the things that we Interneters rumble and grumble at, my mind still throbs and aches a little at the idea that this concept could be offensive.

The way I see it is this:

I strive, and I don't think this is uncommon, to treat others the way I would like to be treated.

Doesn't mean I achieve a 100-percent success rate (some days, especially today when my head feels like a mucus balloon at A Night at the Roxbury, I'm sure it's more like 5 percent), but that's what I'm aiming for.

And that's just for others.

When it comes to the others that I love, shouldn't I aim even higher?

Isn't that at least a part of what love is, after all, a compulsion to put someone else's wants and needs before my own?

I'm just thinking on the keyboard here, but I know I prefer to be treated exceptionally well.

If I desire to be the recipient of that kind of treatment, shouldn't I treat my husband at least that well?

What is the point of being married (or in any long-term, committed relationship) if you don't want to treat your partner like a king or queen?

I'm not suggesting anyone be a martyr for a relationship or develop crazy codependent tendencies, but just let love be love.

If your partner is worthy of your love, then love him or her in every way you can. If your partner is not worthy of your love, then break that wishbone now and run with whatever piece you're holding.

That's how the musings of my mucus-balloon mind see it, anyway.


fraziertoo said...

I feel the same way! People often tell me that I shouldn't make Gabe breakfast everyday, make his lunch, and cook him dinner every night. And that I am too nice to him. But that's just who I am, and I'm not pushing my views on others, so why does it matter to them? :-)

Tara said...

we would be better off if you could feed those words cyrano-style to every talking head on television from the view to e news to fox news to the evening news. seems the real martyrs around here are those who give up rationale for feverish adherence to not-thought-through ideals.

Laura Lindsey said...

I'm not married, but this is exactly the type of marriage that I want! You and Monica have it right with your husbands and its so encouraging to see that! I agree with Tara, too. Well said, everyone.