I have been a Christian for most of my life--sometimes in label more than lifestyle. Lately I have been trying to get back into the Word and let it be a path I actually stick to rather than a tattered banner I halfheartedly fly.
No matter my good intentions, however, verses like Psalm 37:4 trip me up.
I always read them like a promise that if I can just manage to get on God's "good girl" list, then he will start checking off items on my wishlist--you know, with a stomach that shakes like a bowl full of jelly.
The problem with this lovely image is that it never rang true.
I'd let it make me feel appropriately warm and fuzzy and then shove any actual attempt at understanding it into the places of my mind reserved for advanced math and ballroom dancing, to let it get thoroughly coated in cobwebs.
But now, like college pre-cal on my third go-round, I finally get it.
When my desire is for the Lord, and that is where I find my delight, my desires change. He will give me the desires of my heart because when I am truly delighting in Him, His desires will become my desires.
When my husband and I got married, I would have sworn from Miami to Seattle that I would NEVER drive a mini van.
But my husband, or the voice of reason, as his business cards should say, was determined that a minivan was the best vehicle for our growing family.
He would describe a minivan's utility and cost compared to smaller/larger/other choices with such enthusiasm and excitement that he made it sound like not only the smartest choice, but the awesomest option by far.
I took so much delight in listening to him get all excited about the merits of a decidedly soccer-mom car, that his desires became my desires. And you know what? I have never loved another vehicle as much as I love my minivan.
When I delight in God, He might not give me the frivolous, fast-car desires that were on my heart before, but He will work in my heart to make me want what He wants for me more than I could ever have imagined.